


A Kind of Magic

by MsJackofAllFandoms



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Crack, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Magical Realism, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rated for swearing, established relationships - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24215572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsJackofAllFandoms/pseuds/MsJackofAllFandoms
Summary: Ben has an interesting encounter with a strange woman and that derails his and Joe's day. This fic involves magical realism.
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Joe Mazzello, Lucy Boynton/Rami Malek
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	A Kind of Magic

**Author's Note:**

> Hey MsJack, why don’t you work on the 5+1 you’ve been writing for five months? No thanks, I’d rather work on this WIP I started two weeks ago and have mapped out to the end…  
> And I don’t normally post WIPs, but I love this first chapter too much not to share right away. 
> 
> This was beta read by the ever lovely @ThePrincessed even though she is not in this fandom. But if you spot any mistakes, let me know.

Joe was checking his phone when Ben plonked himself heavily down on the seat opposite him and placed their pints on the table. “I just got asked out by a very strange woman.”

Joe’s interest was piqued. It wasn’t unusual for Ben to be asked out, most were politely declined and barely mentioned in passing. Everything about this, from Ben’s own choice of words to his slightly disorientated state suggested this was going to be out there. “Oh? Do Tell.”

Ben picked up his pint and gulped a third of it down before continuing, “I can’t even explain it, she was just… strange.” He leaned in closer, “She asked me if I’d like to go for a cup of tea with her, then listed all these weird flavours of tea at me. I told her, I’m flattered but I’m taken.”

Joe nodded in response to Ben’s words, it didn’t seem too bad, so he encouraged him to continue. “And how did she take that?”

“She said the magazines never mentioned a girlfriend, like she was trying to catch me out in a lie.”

Joe’s face dropped, “Oh."

Ben tried to smile and wave off the woman’s words, as if they didn’t really matter. “Yeah. No it’s okay, don’t worry. I just said the magazines like to hold gossip back until it makes them money. She was clearly embarrassed, I thought she was going to try and argue with me, but then she just… upped and left.” 

“My poor handsome man,” Joe said, nudging his boyfriend’s hand, “getting asked out by weird women.”

Ben grimaced, and picked up his pint but didn’t drink from the glass immediately. “I feel bad, actually.”

Joe finally picked up his own pint glass, and similar to Ben, spoke before drinking from it. “Why?”

Ben hesitated, and Joe just knew the answer. Something must have shown on his own face because Ben nudged his hand, reciprocating the small gesture of affection they allowed themselves out in the open. 

“It’s okay. I just…” He started, clearly choosing his words carefully. “I just feel like I lied to her, you know? But, I know it has to be that way, and it’s my problem I feel that way. Joe, it’s okay. Seriously.”

Joe looked down in to his own pint to try and choose his own words carefully, “It won’t be forever.”

“I know.”

Before Joe could continue, before either of them could enjoy any more of their drinks, there was a disturbance at the front entrance as the door was slammed open. And then came a short, thin woman with gorgeous platinum blonde hair that trailed behind her in her speed. If it wasn’t for her strange clothing choice of a tweed skirt that looked like she’d taken from her grandmother’s wardrobe, shocking orange blouse and a big, costume jewellery style purple necklace, clutching a snake skin hand bag, Joe would have thought she was just an average member of society you come across in town. Even with the shrill shouting.

“You LIED to me!” She screamed, coming further into the gastro pub and heading for the stairs that separated the section Ben and Joe were sat in from the rest of the pub. “You’re a lying liar who lies!” She started yanking at her own bag, and many other patrons sat in shock, not knowing if they should intervene or not. “I would have understood!!” She continued, “But instead you made me feel like an idiot for trusting the magazines!” She stomped up the stairs and came within a few feet of Ben. Joe was worried any movement would provoke her even more, and one glance at Ben told Joe he was feeling the same. “And so for that, I curse you!!” 

Before Joe could even blink, the young woman threw what she’d had in her hands right at Ben’s face and fled back down the stairs and out the pub, much faster than she’d came in. Nobody moved.

“What!?” Ben’s words came out as a shocked laugh. 

“Who the fuck- where did she go?” Joe tried to look for her out the windows of the pub, down the street, he couldn’t see anything.

“Uh.”

Ben’s utterance brought Joe’s attention back to the situation at hand, and when he looked over, the blonde was rapidly blinking as his eyes were starting to stream. 

“Oh shit, Ben!” He pulled the other man up out of their seats and down the stairs, “Quick, we’ll wash it off. Someone call 911!” he shouted to the rest of the gastro pub.

“England, Joe, we’re in England!”

“SOMEONE CALL 999!”

When they reached the bar, a member of staff pulled them aside and into the staff’s own private bathroom and handed them three bottles of eye wash solution and some packets of gauze. “It’s for when there’s accidental pepperage” the barman said. Joe took them, grateful for the readily available assistance, and then tore one open to just pour over Ben’s eyes. 

Joe tried not to gag, but he wasn’t the best at eye stuff. He then tore open another one and went slower, more gentle. By the time he was using the third, he could hear sirens in the background, and Ben didn’t seem to be having other reaction from what was thrown on him, so Joe’s panic abated a bit.

“Don’t wash it all off, save some on a napkin.” Ben said, his voice soft and quiet.  
  
“What? What for?”

“So they can test it?”

“Okay.” He opened a packet of the gauze and took a sheet out, and gently wiped at the powder still visible on Ben’s forehead. “Okay, is it still in your eyes? Does it sting or burn?”

“No.” Ben said, shaking his head, “It just smells bad.”

They both jumped as the door swung open suddenly, but instead of anyone trying to harm them, it was two paramedics all geared up to assist. Joe gave a sigh of relief. 

  
BRBRBRBR  
  


Ben sat slumped on the bed in a curtained off cubicle, mindlessly swinging his feet as him and Joe waited for the doctor. Joe had sat next to him as soon as the nurses deemed it safe to do so, but kept getting up and flitting about the cubicle nervously. They had been there far too long for everything to be just fine, in Joe’s opinion.

“Knock knock” said the voice of the doctor who’d overlooked Ben’s case after the nurses did their initial triage. He was an older man, called Doctor Farfalle, taller than Joe, with grey thinning hair and spoke with a dry but soft voice. Instead of the white labcoat they’d both imagined a doctor in A&E would wear, he actually wore light blue scrubs with normal smart dark shoes. 

He pulled the curtain back and stepped in with a thin file of Ben’s medical notes in his hands. He smiled at them tiredly, then skimmed over Ben’s notes, as if making sure of what was read there. “Your blood came back all clear, you’ve had your breathing monitored on quarterly checks, down to hourly and you’re not having any breathing difficulties, and the first responders and anti chemical team did a good job of washing your eyes.”

“I never want to have that done ever again.” Ben interjected.

“Well don’t turn down any more crazy women and it won’t.”

It was meant to be a joke, but Joe knew it had landed badly when Ben frowned and actually looked quite hurt by the quip.

“I’m sorry,” Joe said quickly, patting his boyfriend on the shoulder, “I didn’t mean that. I’m just worried and my snark goes up to 11 when I’m worried.” He turned to the doctor to address him, “Is he really okay, doc?”

Doctor Farfalle nodded, “His face is more irritated by all the washing and touching than whatever was thrown at him, and from what we saw on the gauze, it looks more like mulched green waste.”

Ben looked alarmed, “Uh!?”

Doctor Farfalle raised his hand in apology and spoke directly to Ben, “Sorry, that’s dead plants from a garden bin. Mostly harmless.” He went back to addressing Joe’s concerns, “Not even any signs of nettles or fertiliser.” The doctor then flicked through the file to the end to take out some loose sheets, including a pamphlet. 

Once again, addressing Ben, he said, “If your face starts to feel tight, or hot, or you have breathing difficulties or your vision goes funny, then by all means, ring for an ambulance if you need to and come straight back. But you should be fine.”

“Okay.”

“Do you _feel_ fine?”

Ben shrugged, “I just feel tired.”

Joe put his arm around Ben’s shoulders, “You’ve had a long day, babe.”

The doctor nodded in agreement, “It’s probably the adrenaline wearing off. Like a kid on a sugar rush, and what goes up, must come down.”

“Yeah.”

Doctor Farfalle nodded towards Joe, “Your friend here should stay with you for the next 24 hours.”

Joe gripped Ben’s shoulder tighter, “Don’t worry, Doc, I’m staying with him the whole week.”

The doctor nodded in satisfaction at that reply, and then handed over the loose sheets he took from the file. “Okay. Here’s your discharge papers, and here’s the aftercare leaflet on what to do if you feel any residual irritation, any side effects you might feel from the irrigation, and any signs or symptoms that means you have to come straight back.” He then went back to the file and pulled out another sheet that was stapled to the pages inside. “Take this yellow sheet to the front desk, and take care.”

Ben nodded, taking in all the instructions. “Okay, thanks Doctor.”

Joe kept his arm around Ben as Ben slipped off the bed, then guided him out of the cubicle.” Yeah, thanks. And thank the nurses, too, for us.”

Ben nodded a bit more enthusiastically than he had before, “Oh. Yes. Especially the one that was holding his hand whilst they helped me, because i’m sure she had her work cut out for her.”

The doctor chuckled and shook their hands, “I will do. Goodbye.”

They left the cubicle area, handed the yellow sheet to the nurse at the front desk, and walked down the short corridor to the entrance of A&E. Ben stopped and blew air out of his cheeks as he saw the dark, late night sky outside. 

Joe, who still had an arm around his shoulders, gently pulled him forwards. “Come on, Benny boy, let’s get you home and in to bed.”

Ben smiled at him, but it didn’t really reach his eyes like normal. “I like the sound of that.”

Joe scoffed, “I meant to sleep.”

“So did I, I’m bloody knackered.”

Joe frowned, and ran a hand through Ben’s hair, “I know.”

They headed to the small taxi rank to the side of the hospital and got in the first cab. Joe gave the driver instructions as Ben struggled to put his own seat belt on, then put his own seatbelt on before replacing his arm around Ben’s shoulders. 

“I’m gonna message the guys, okay? Let them know what a crazy night we’ve had.”

Ben slumped into him a bit, clearly the day hitting him hard. “Okay.”

“Anything you don’t want me to tell them?”

Ben shook his head, “No, it’s okay. You can tell them whatever.”

“Okay.”

**-All Stars Group Chat-**

**Joe**  
Hey guys, guess who just spent four hours in the hospital having his face washed by an anti chemical team?

 **Gwil** **  
** Oh my god, what happened?

**Rami**

What!? You or Ben?

 **Joe**  
Ben. Some crazy woman asked him out this afternoon, he turned her down. She came up to us a bit later before dinner, calls him a liar and throws some dead plants in his face.

 **Gwil** **  
** What!?

 **Rami:** **  
** How did that lead to the hospital and an anti chemical team?

 **Joe**  
It was a foul smelling powdery liquid, we didn’t know what it was at the time and Ben’s eyes went really red. Washed it off his face and did a bit of an eye rinse before the ambulance arrived, then they washed his eyes !!! that was super gross to see, got him in the back and drove us to the ER where they pretty much water boarded him.  
  
**Joe** **  
** It was awful, but he’s okay, doc said it was mostly harmless and his face is more sore from all the washing than the stuff itself. He should be okay.

 **Gwil** **  
** Thank goodness.

 **Rami** **  
** That is awful. Do you know this woman’s name? DId you tell the police?

 **Joe** **  
** That’s the wierd thing, she ran out again and nobody could see her, it was like she just vanished from the street. They asked him at the hospital if he wanted to report an assault, and it’d be a big thing because, ya know, unknown chemical!! But he said he didn’t want the fuss and apparently there were no witnesses anyway.

 **Gwil** **  
** No witnesses!? A restaurant full of people, and there were no witnesses!? No CCTV?

 **Joe:** **  
** Well it was a gastro pub but yeah. And no, the CCTV only covers the register.

 **Rami** **  
** Is he okay? Why isn’t he messaging us?

 **Joe** **  
** _Joe has sent you a picture_ _  
_

**Joe** **  
** See? He’s doing better but he’s really tired. Doc said it’s the adrenaline wearing off, like a kid on a sugar rush come down.

 **Gwil**  
Our poor boy :( Give him my love.

 **Rami** **  
** My hotel is not too far away from his apartment, do you want me to come around?

Joe nudged the heavy weight that was his boyfriend on his chest, “Hey babe, Rami wants to know if we want him to come around? Says his hotel isn’t too far away from yours.”

Ben shook his head and bumped his head further into Joe’s chest, “No, tell him it’s okay. I just want to go to bed.”  
  


**Joe  
**Ben says it’s okay, he just wants to go to bed. 

**Rami** **  
** Okay, but i’ll come by in the morning, okay?

 **Joe** **  
** Yeah that should be fine.

 **Gwil** **  
** I’ll come around too. Let us know if anything changes or if you need anything. And i mean ANYTHING

 **Joe** **  
** Will do.

BRBRBRBRBRBR  
  


Once in the bedroom, Ben was like a cranky puppet with loose strings. Ben had taken one look at their bed and flopped right onto it, and barely put any effort to put himself into a more comfortable position that didn’t suffocate him, and didn’t even bother getting under the covers. 

Joe tutted at him, “You can’t just sleep in your clothes. They’ve had gross stuff on them, and saline and whatever else.”

Whatever Ben’s reply was, it was swallowed up by the pillow Ben had his face smushed into.

Joe shook his head, and set to his tasks. “God it’s like helping Matty. If i wasn’t so worried, I’d be making fun of you right now.”

He gently tugged him into a position onto his back, slightly sitting up against the pillows in the hope it kept him awake just a bit longer, only to be met with his boyfriend’s closed eyelids and a groan. 

“I just feel so drained.”

Joe hummed. “The doc did say this was normal, right?” Ben just shrugged at him, “Okay, let me help you with your shirt and then I’m gonna read that leaflet.”

He made quick work of unbuttoning the shirt and pulling it off him, glad to see Ben at least trying to co-ordinate his movements to get his arms out and the shirt out from under his back.

“There we go. Pants?”

Ben brushed his hands off, “I got them.”

“Okay.” 

Feeling he could trust Ben to continue for a few minutes, he picked up the sheets they were given and found the leaflet. He went through it once, skim reading it, and then went through it a bit more carefully so he could actually take in the information that was written there. He did all this to the sound of really slow rustling and groans of hard labour. It was… disconcerting for Joe, to say the least. But when he looked up, he did at least see his boyfriend more comfortable, under the covers, and his eyes partially open.

“This leaflet’s useless. Well, okay, not useless but it doesn’t mention anything about feeling drained. I’m gonna google this.” He looked back down at his phone, typed in what he thought would get the best results and read through what came up. “Okay,” he said, looking back up again, “You know what? A lot of results are blogs and newspaper articles where people say they got into fights or got attacked and when the adrenaline wore off, they were exhausted with flu like symptoms for days afterwards, so this is probably normal.” A bit more relaxed again at the situation at hand, he patted Ben’s leg and made to leave the bedroom. “I’m gonna get you a glass of water.”

Ben whined instantly, “Oh Joe, no not more water.”

Joe went back over to the bed and rubbed at Ben’s shoulder, hoping to comfort him. “Don’t worry, it’s just to drink. It should help, right? Like a hang over?”

Ben gave a noncommittal answer of humming grumpily, but he didn’t look too distressed at the idea anymore so Joe felt like he could leave him, and went into the kitchen. He returned as quickly as possible and was relieved to see that, despite how tired Ben was, he was still awake, albiet with his eyes mostly closed over. 

“Look what I found! Easier for you to drink, now.”

Ben looked at the item being waved in his face. “A straw?”

Joe smiled encouragingly, “A straw with a loop de loop in it!”

Ben groaned again. “That just makes it harder to drink with.”

Joe looked down at the bright orange straw with a loop-de-loop in it, in his hand. “Does it? Well fuck that!” He threw it somewhere in the general direction of the waste basket they had under in the corner of the room, knowing he’d likely have to pick it up sometime in the morning. “There! No more straw.”

Ben laughed, but it was pitiful one. Joe encouraged Ben to sit up just a bit more so he could take a few sips of the cup and far too soon Ben was angling his face away from the cup.

“No, no more. Just wanna sleep.”

Joe placed the cup on the bedside table and helped Ben ease back down into a more comfortable sleeping position. He was trying not to worry over the sudden energy drop of his boyfriend, but it was none of the symptoms the doctor said to watch out for, so he was hoping he could trust the internet on this one. 

“Okay, but it’s there in reach if you need it. I’m just gonna go around making sure everything’s checked and then I’ll join you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” He leaned over and kissed Ben on the cheek, “I love you. You were very brave today.”

Ben cracked a smile, and it was a tired one but it was still a real one, which eased some of the worry starting to settle in Joe’s stomach. “So were you.”

Joe left the bedroom to double check the windows and doors were all closed and locked up for the night and all the household electronics were off at the mains. By the time he got back up, Ben was curled up on his side, fast asleep.

Joe got changed into his own pyjamas and got into bed beside Ben. He didn’t nudge him or shake him, he knew Ben needed his rest, but he couldn’t just go to sleep just like that.

“Ben?” He whispered, not expecting an answer and he didn’t get one. “Goodnight.” He pulled the duvet up over himself and let the day wash over him, feeling grateful that at least they both came home in one piece.

BRBRBRBRBRBR  
  


Joe woke up when something suddenly him on the side of his face. “Mpphh?”

Then it hit him again. Then he heard a sound he has heard many times before in the last few years, but never, ever anywhere in Ben’s apartment, let alone his bedroom.

A baby giggling. 

Joe jumped out of bed and turned around faster than he could think, and there, where Ben’s neck is usually on the pillow, was a small, blonde, big blue eyed baby. 

“Bah!”

He’d know those eyes anywhere. “Holy shit!”  
  
The baby giggled again.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a slow writer and a lot of times have to write 9 versions of the same thing that I hate, to get to the 10th version that I like. I can't promise a regular posting schedule, but be patient with me and hopefully we'll all have fun.


End file.
